State track and my week!

This week has been really a trying one for me personally. I’ve been single for 3 ½ years. I’d always imagined that at this stage in my life I would have been married with a great family and kids.
I have a wonderful son and wouldn’t trade any of the events that brought him into my life for anything. And while being a single mom over the last few years hasn’t been all bad, it does get lonely at times. I’ve prayed and tried my best to be patient, knowing and reminding myself that someone will come in my life, the right person at the right time.
This last week started a bit off kilter and just went downhill making me a bit depressed. I started the week of with a sort of blind lunch date that left me uncomfortable and with the knowledge that I didn’t want to pursue much past a friendship. I know that he wanted to but as the Monday grew on and the week too, I could never get comfortable with the idea of pursuing much else. He seemed like a nice guy but I knew that we wouldn’t be a match but with the lingering doubt in the back of my mind thinking will someone ever cross my path that will intrigue me enough to open my life to them. I know I’m not the easiest person to get to know. My history has caused me to be cautious. I know that being a single mom and wanting to protect my son at any cost has also left me overly cautious.
By Friday I just wanted to curl up for the weekend but knowing I’d just wallow if I did. I went out with a friend. I had the best time I’ve had in a long time. I’ve hung out with this guy a few times. I’ve known his parents for quite some time. None of our lives are perfect and I know he’s struggling with a bit of personal drama. Some of which I can provide a little knowledge of personal experience.
We had a good time. Started with dinner then intended to play a little hold ‘em. The tournament we intended to play in had been discontinued sometime in the past. That cancelation lead to a good movie the Haunting in Connecticut. After the movie we hit a local bar and enjoyed sitting in an outdoor atmosphere watching the clouds and lightening pass over around us.
I’ve not been on a date ever where the date didn’t at least seem to attempt a good night kiss. Each time I’ve gone out with this friend the evenings always end the same, we both appear to have a good time and the closest to a kiss has been a hug. I’m not sure how to take that.
He called to make sure I made it home and we had lunch the next day as I had to be in the area where he lived because of a state track meet.
I’m not sure what will become of anything. We may just grow to be closer friends with similar situations. But at the very least, my date this weekend was a first in a long time that has given me hope that someone will come in my life him or whomever else. I just have to continue to be patient.
I will hold out moderate hope that he will continue to stay in touch and that we can go out again.